I started off my pregnancy with a resolve to live my life (well at least the next nine months of it) following every single pregnancy recommendation. I failed. Miserably. I work in a bar, so my routine is non- existent. I rarely have dinner, and if I do its usually KFC or McDonald’s on the way home from work. Last night it was a tub of yoghurt. Its not that I don’t care, its just that life is busy, sometimes when I get home from work late, I can’t be bothered cooking. In fairness, with the help of my flatmate, we have slowly developed some normality and actually taken the time to cook dinner after work. But this shits not easy, adulting is not an easy task. To those mothers out there that instantly become holier than thou as soon as they discover they are pregnant, well good on you. I applaud your mummyness while I sit here eating cold pizza. A big pregnancy no no. Like deli foods, aioli, salad dressings, duck liver mousse, hummus, soft cheese, rare beef, pies from a pie warmer… the list goes on. So basically, I just kinda started doing my own thing.
The thing is, if you do everything right, you can have a terrible outcome. For almost 37 weeks, I ate all the right foods, completely avoided all the wrong foods, and gave up all my bad habits to ensure that I had a happy, healthy baby. Despite all my efforts, my first baby was still born. There was nothing I could have done. It was a rare, natural event that just happened. And it is unlikely to happen to me again. So when I found out that I was pregnant again, over a year after loosing my first little boy, I was pretty nervous to say the least. At first, I avoided all those foods I’m not supposed to eat. But bit by bit I have caved. Because, eating blue cheese makes me happy. Hummus and carrot makes me happy, pies make me happy. And surely its better to eat something to ensure that my baby is getting all of its nutrients.
My partner left shortly after we found out I was pregnant. He found a ready made family, and decided that was more up his alley. So being single through pregnancy has added extra challenges. No one to bring me chocolate milks. No one to rub my back. No one to bring me a hot water bottle when the growing baby is creating so much pain. No one to rub my feet after a 14 hour shift. But on the positive side, I get to decide on names, themes, clothes, furniture, accessories, what products I will use on my babies precious skin, how I want to raise my baby. I get to make all those decisions, and those are all the important things. Not what I eat.
I’m slowly learning how to mum. Like real slowly. I’ve undertaken some mum tasks like choose a luxury Mountain Buggy for my precious tot, and brought the carrycot extra so that I can see my little bundle of joy on the walks that I picture us taking together. I’ve examined books, toys and all sorts of other bits that you need to buy. But the decisions are hard. What book provides the best engaging material for my tot, what themed curtains would the baby like the most? And the one biggest question that seems to occur the most when Im in baby shops or browsing a book or online… What is that for? Like seriously, what is the difference between a cot blanket and just a baby blanket?
I’m just a single mum to be. And I’m just winging my way through pregnancy. Follow my blog for more updates on life as a pregnant chick working in a bar (trust me the advice received from drunk patrons is epic), more dilemmas over what to buy, and the everyday thoughts of a girl who went from #litlife to #litpregnantlife.